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"Why the fuck are you asking this shit, freak boy? Are you telling us you've sucked a dick before?" No," he said. "I've never sucked a dick. I was just wondering at what point you officially become a faggot. Is it the first time a dick passes your lips, or is it if you decide to do it again, or is when you..." I'll tell you when you become a faggot," Matt said. "It's the first time you ever wonder what it might be like to have some other dude's schlong in your mouth! You start thinking about shit like that, you're a fuckin' faggot! Now someone better change this conversation topic real soon before I either barf or kick freak boy's ass."Nerdly immediately took up this particular challenge. He blurted out, "Sharon's going with us when we go out on tour."Everyone stopped and slowly turned to stare at the diminutive piano player. He stared back at them, a challenging look on his face."Sharon's doing what?" Jake asked."She's coming on tour with us," Nerdly said. He looked at Matt. Her time with me is in some ways a revelation.She says: It's my fault – and your father's – that you have failed at the marriages. We never argued. We had a perfect marriage and you never learned how to deal with normal marriage issues. We were a bad role model.Well in truth, that is a bunch of bullshit. Bullshit, to the extent that it is her fault. She is right that they never seemed to argue, but that is because they both respected each other and because as much as he chose not to exercise his authority, we all knew he had it. He had the final say, if one was needed. It just never seemed to be needed.What came next isn't bullshit, it is just plain crazy.She says: Go find a girl. Look overseas. Find a girl who will give you children.I look at her. She is nuts. I probably say as much.She insists that I am not too old and that other men have done it. Finally she says that if I go to meet a girl, she will help pay for the trip. She can afford it (as can I) but it is sort of a 'double.
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